Do not exceed reasonable bounds in the dowries of women. Had it been a mark of honor in this world or a sign of piety before Allah , the Prophet ﷺ would have been the foremost of you in it. Yet the Messenger of Allah ﷺ never gave any of his wives a dowry, nor was any of his daughters given a dowry, exceeding twelve uqiyah. A man may pay an excessive dowry for his wife until it breeds resentment toward her in his heart, even causing him to say, "I have been burdened for your sake to the point of carrying the waterskin's strap."I was an Arab boy, born and raised among them, yet I did not know what "the waterskin's strap" meant.He continued, "There is another thing people say about those killed in your military expeditions or who die during them. They say, 'So-and-so was killed as a martyr,' or 'So-and-so died as a martyr,' when perhaps he had loaded the back of his mount or the side of his camel with gold or silver, seeking trade. So do not say that. Instead, say as the Prophet ﷺ said, 'Whoever is killed in the path of Allah or dies in it is in Paradise.'"
أخبرنا علي بن حجر بن إياس بن مقاتل بن مشمرخ بن خالد قال حدثنا إسمعيل بن إبراهيم عن أيوب وابن عون وسلمة بن علقمة وهشام بن حسان دخل حديث بعضهم في بعض عن محمد بن سيرين قال سلمة عن ابن سيرين نبئت عن أبي العجفاء وقال الآخرون عن محمد بن سيرين عن أبي العجفاء قال
ألا لا تغلوا صدق النساء فإنه لو كان مكرمة وفي الدنيا أو تقوى عند الله عز وجل كان أولاكم به النبي ﷺ ما أصدق رسول الله ﷺ امرأة من نسائه ولا أصدقت امرأة من بناته أكثر من ثنتي عشرة أوقية وإن الرجل ليغلي بصدقة امرأته حتى يكون لها عداوة في نفسه وحتى يقول كلفت لكم علق القربة وكنت غلاما عربيا مولدا فلم أدر ما علق القربة قال وأخرى يقولونها لمن قتل في مغازيكم أو مات قتل فلان شهيدا أو مات فلان شهيدا ولعله أن يكون قد أوقر عجز دابته أو دف راحلته ذهبا أو ورقا يطلب التجارة فلا تقولوا ذاكم ولكن قولوا كما قال النبي ﷺ من قتل في سبيل الله أو مات فهو في الجنة
Graded hasan. Ahmad reported it in 1/40, 41 from Ismail (that is, Ibn Ulaya) with this chain, and it is also in Kubra, hadith 5511. Abu Dawud reported it, hadith 2106, and Tirmidhi, hadith 1114, from the hadith of Ayub with this chain, and Tirmidhi said, hasan sahih. Hakim graded it sahih in 2/109, 175, 176, and Dhahabi agreed with him.Ibn Sirin heard it from Abul-Ajfa and from his son, so both chains are preserved.