I heard Umar say, "Listen, do not exceed proper limits in the dowries of women. Listen, do not exceed proper limits in the dowries of women. Had it been a mark of honor in this world or a sign of piety before Allah, the Prophet ﷺ would have been the most deserving of you to practice it. Yet the Messenger of Allah ﷺ never gave any of his wives a dowry, nor was any of his daughters given a dowry, of more than twelve uqiyahs. A man may be tried by the dowry of his wife." On another occasion he said, "A man may overburden himself with his wife's dowry until he harbors enmity toward her in his heart, and until he says, 'I was made to bear for you even the strap of the waterskin.'"He said, "I was an Arab boy born and raised among them, yet I did not know what 'the strap of the waterskin' meant."He said, "And there is another thing you say about anyone killed in your military expeditions or who dies on them. You say, 'So-and-so was killed as a martyr,' and 'So-and-so died as a martyr.' Yet it may be that he had loaded the back of his mount or the side of his riding camel with gold or silver, seeking trade. Do not say that. Rather, say as the Prophet said," or as Muhammad ﷺ said, "Whoever is killed or dies in the path of Allah is in Paradise."
حدثنا إسماعيل حدثنا سلمة بن علقمة عن محمد بن سيرين قال نبئت
سمعت عمر يقول ألا لا تغلوا صدق النساء ألا لا تغلوا صدق النساء فإنها لو كانت مكرمة في الدنيا أو تقوى عند الله كان أولاكم بها النبي ﷺ ما أصدق رسول الله ﷺ امرأة من نسائه ولا أصدقت امرأة من بناته أكثر من ثنتي عشرة أوقية وإن الرجل ليبتلى بصدقة امرأته وقال مرة وإن الرجل ليغلي بصدقة امرأته حتى تكون لها عداوة في نفسه وحتى يقول كلفت إليك علق القربة قال وكنت غلاما عربيا مولدا لم أدر ما علق القربة قال وأخرى تقولونها لمن قتل في مغازيكم ومات قتل فلان شهيدا ومات فلان شهيدا ولعله أن يكون قد أوقر عجز دابته أو دف راحلته ذهبا أو ورقا يلتمس التجارة لا تقولوا ذاكم ولكن قولوا كما قال النبي أو كما قال محمد ﷺ من قتل أو مات في سبيل الله فهو في الجنة
Its isnad is sahih, even though it appears at first glance to contain a break. Ibn Sirin says, "I was informed by someone on the authority of Abu Ajfa." Abu Ajfa's name was Harim, with a fatha on the ha and a kasra on the ra, son of Nusayb, with a fatha on the nun and a kasra on the sin. Ibn Main, Daraqutni, and Ibn Hibban all confirmed his reliability. Ibn Sirin did hear this hadith directly from Abu Ajfa, as will appear later at 340, so it seems he heard it from him directly and also through others reporting from him. Sometimes he narrates it in this indirect form, and sometimes he says, "from Abu Ajfa," as will appear later at 287.Bukhari said in Tarikh Sagheer, 112–113, Salama bin Alqama said, on the authority of Ibn Sirin, "I was informed by someone on the authority of Abu Ajfa, on the authority of Umar," regarding the dowry. Hisham said, on the authority of Ibn Sirin, "Abu Ajfa narrated to us." Some said, on the authority of Ibn Sirin, on the authority of Ibn Abu Ajfa, on the authority of his father, there is something questionable in this narration of his. Hisham is Ibn Hassan Azdi. Saeed bin Abu Aruba said, "I have not seen anyone with better memory of what came from Muhammad bin Sirin than Hisham."This hadith was narrated by Hakim in Al-Mustadrak, 2:175–176, through the route of Yazid bin Harun, from Ibn Awn, from Ibn Sirin, from Abu Ajfa. Hakim said, "This is a hadith sahih in isnad, though the two of them did not include it." It was also narrated by Ayub Sakhtiyani, Habib bin Shaheed, Hisham bin Hassan, Salama bin Alqama, Mansur bin Zazan, Awf bin Abu Jameela, and Yahya bin Ateeq, all these chains being sahih narrations from Muhammad bin Sirin. Abu Ajfa Taymi, whose name was Harim bin Nusayb, is among the trustworthy narrators. This is a good isnad, indeed sahih, one that Muslim relied upon, meaning Ibn Awn, and he did not follow it up with any objection when validating the hadith as sahih.It was also narrated by Abu Dawud, 2:199, Tirmidhi, 2:183–184, Nasai, 2:87–88, Ibn Majah, 1:298–299, and Bayhaqi in Sunan al-Kubra, 7:234, some giving it in full and others abridging it. Tirmidhi said, "This is a hasan sahih hadith." In most of these narrations it comes as, on the authority of Ibn Sirin, on the authority of Abu Ajfa, but Bukhari's account that Hisham bin Hassan said, on the authority of Ibn Sirin, "Abu Ajfa narrated to us," together with the coming narration at 340, the narration of Sufyan bin Uyayna, from Ayub, from Ibn Sirin, that he heard it from Abu Ajfa, both explicitly establish that the hadith's chain is connected, since both come through two of the most reliable narrators of Ibn Sirin's hadith, namely Ayub Sakhtiyani and Hisham bin Hassan.Salama bin Alqama Taymi Basri is trustworthy, a hafiz, and precise. Ismail, the teacher of Ahmad, is Ibn Ulaya."Sudaq al-nisa" with two damma vowels, is also a plural of "sidaq," meaning dowry. It may also be read with a fatha on the dal and no vowel, along with a fatha on the sad, or with a damma on the sad along with a damma on the dal and no vowel."Alaqat al-qirba," with a fatha on the ain and the lam, refers to the rope by which the waterskin is hung. The meaning intended is, "I bore every hardship for your sake, even to the point of the rope of the waterskin." In some narrations it appears as "araqa al-qirba," with a fatha on the ain and the ra. It is stated in Al-Nihaya that this means, "I exerted myself and toiled for you until the waterskin sweated," the sweating of the waterskin being the seeping of its water. Some say the intended meaning of "araq al-qirba" is its water itself. Others say the meaning is, "I sought you out and traveled to you and came to need the sweat, that is the water, of the waterskin." Others say the meaning is, "I bore for you what no one else has borne, something that cannot even happen," since a waterskin does not actually sweat. Asmai said, "araq al-qirba" or "alaq al-qirba" is a proverb the Arabs use to express hardship and toil, and there are various sayings about it which I have set out in the book Al-Mustaqsa fi Amthal al-Arab."Or the daff of his mount," "daff al-rahila," with a fatha on the dal, refers to the side of its saddle frame, that is, the saddle itself.