Eleven women sat together and pledged to one another that they would conceal nothing about their husbands.The first said, "My husband is the meat of a scrawny camel atop a rugged mountain, neither easy enough to climb up to nor fat enough to be worth carrying down."The second said, "My husband, I cannot speak of him fully. I fear if I begin, I will not be able to stop. If I mention him, I would have to mention all his faults, both visible and hidden."The third said, "My husband is the tall, foolish one. If I speak, I am divorced. If I stay silent, I am left in suspense."The fourth said, "My husband is like a night in Tihamah, neither hot nor cold, no fear and no boredom."The fifth said, "My husband, when he comes home, is like a leopard. When he goes out, he is like a lion. He does not ask about what he leaves behind."The sixth said, "My husband, when he eats, devours everything. When he drinks, he drains the cup. When he sleeps, he wraps himself up alone, and he does not extend his hand to learn what troubles me."The seventh said, "My husband is impotent, or weak and clumsy. Every disease afflicts him. He may break my head, or my body, or both."The eighth said, "My husband's touch is as soft as a rabbit's fur, and his scent is as fragrant as zarnab."The ninth said, "My husband has a lofty house with high pillars, he is tall of stature, generous with great heaps of ash from his cooking fires, and his home is near the meeting place."The tenth said, "My husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is better than anything I could describe. He has many camels, most of them kept resting at home and few sent out to pasture. When the camels hear the sound of the lute, they know they are about to be slaughtered for guests."The eleventh said, "My husband is Abu Zar, and what is Abu Zar? He has adorned my ears with jewels and filled my arms with fat. He has made me feel so cherished that I think highly of myself. He found me with a family that owned only a few sheep in a desolate place, and brought me to a household of horses that neigh, camels that groan, threshers, and winnowers of grain. With him, I speak and am not rebuked. I sleep until late morning. I drink to my fill.The mother of Abu Zar, and what is the mother of Abu Zar? Her storage bags are huge and her house is spacious.The son of Abu Zar, and what is the son of Abu Zar? His sleeping place is as slender as a drawn sword, and a young goat's foreleg is enough to satisfy him.The daughter of Abu Zar, and what is the daughter of Abu Zar? She obeys her father, she obeys her mother, she fills out her garment, and she stirs the envy of her co-wife.The maid of Abu Zar, and what is the maid of Abu Zar? She does not spread our private talk, she does not waste our provisions, and she does not let our house become cluttered with filth."She continued, "Abu Zar went out one day while the milk skins were being churned. He met a woman with two children of hers, like two leopards, playing beneath her waist with two pomegranates. He divorced me and married her. After him, I married a noble man. He rode a swift horse, carried a Khatti spear, and brought home to me an abundance of cattle. He gave me a pair of every kind of livestock and said, 'Eat, Umm Zar, and provide for your family.' Yet if I gathered everything he gave me, it would not equal the smallest vessel of Abu Zar."Ayesha said, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "I have been to you like Abu Zar was to Umm Zar."
جلس إحدى عشرة امرأة فتعاهدن وتعاقدن أن لا يكتمن من أخبار أزواجهن شيئا، قالت الأولى: زوجي لحم جمل غث، على رأس جبل: لا سهل فيرتقى ولا سمين فينتقل، قالت الثانية: زوجي لا أبث خبره، إني أخاف أن لا أذره إن أذكره أذكر عجره، ويجره، قالت الثالثة: زوجي العشنق، إن أنطق أطلق، وإن أسكت أعلق، قالت الرابعة: زوجي كليل تهامة، لا حر ولا قر، ولا مخافة ولا سآمة، قالت الخامسة: زوجي إن دخل فهد، وإن خرج أسد، ولا يسأل عما عهد، قالت السادسة: زوجي إن أكل لف، وإن شرب اشتف، وإن اضطجع التف، ولا يولج الكف ليعلم البث، قالت السابعة: زوجي غياياء أو عياياء طباقاء، كل داء له داء، شجك أو فلك أو جمع كلا لك، قالت الثامنة: زوجي المس مس أرنب، والريح ريح، زرنب قالت التاسعة: زوجي رفيع العماد، طويل النجاد، عظيم الرماد، قريب البيت من الناد، قالت العاشرة: زوجي مالك، وما مالك، مالك خير من ذلك، له إبل كثيرات المبارك، قليلات المسارح، وإذا سمعن صوت المزهر، أيقن أنهن هوالك، قالت الحادية عشرة: زوجي أبو زرع، فما أبو زرع، أناس من حلي أذني، وملأ من شحم عضدي، وبجحني فبححت إلي نفسي، وجدني في أهل غنيمة بشق، فجعلني في أهل صهيل وأطيط، ودائس ومنق، فعنده أقول فلا أقبح، وأرقد فأتصبح، وأشرب فأتقنح، أم أبي زرع، فما أم أبي زرع حكومها رداح، وبيتها فساح، ابن أبي زرع، فما ابن أبي زرع، مضجعه كمسل شطبة، ويشبعه ذراع الجفرة، بنت أبي زرع، فما بنت أبي زرع، طوع أبيها، وطوع أمها، وملء كسائها، وغيظ جارتها، جارية أبي زرع، فما جارية أبي زرع، لا تبث حديثنا تبثيثا، ولا تنقث ميرتنا تنقيثا، ولا تملأ بيتنا تعشيشا. قالت: خرج أبو زرع، والأوطاب تمخض، فلقي امرأة معها ولدان لها كالفهدين يلعبان من تحت خصرها برمانتين، فطلقني ونكحها، فنكحت بعده رجلا سريا، ركب شريا، وأخذ خطيا، وأراح علي نعما ثريا، وأعطاني من كل رائحة زوجا، وقال، كلي أم زرع، وميري أهلك، قالت: فلو جمعت كل شيء أعطانيه، ما بلغ أصغر آنية أبي زرع. قالت عائشة: قال رسول الله ﷺ: كنت لك كأبي زرع لأم زرع.
Reported by Bukhari in the Book of Marriage (5189) and Muslim in the Book of the Virtues of the Companions (2448), both from Ali bin Hajar, who said, Isa bin Yunus told us, Hisham bin Urwa told us, from Abdullah bin Urwa, from Urwa, from Ayesha. He related it as a stopped report (mawquf), except for the last sentence, which is the statement of the Prophet ﷺ, "I was to you like Abu Zaraa was to Umm Zaraa," and that part is raised (marfu). It has also been reported as fully raised (marfu). Ishaq bin Rahawayh (744) and Nasai in his Kubra (9092) both reported it through the hadith of Abbad bin Mansur, who said, Hisham bin Urwa told me, from his father Urwa bin Zubayr, from his maternal aunt Ayesha, who said, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me, "I was to you like Abu Zaraa was to Umm Zaraa." I said, "By my father and mother, O Messenger of Allah, who was Abu Zaraa?" So he related the rest of the story in similar fashion. Abbad bin Mansur is daif, but he has been corroborated.Nasai reported it in his Kubra (9093) through the route of Qasim bin Abdul-Wahid, who said, Umar bin Abdullah bin Urwa told me, from Urwa, from Ayesha, who said, I boasted of my father's wealth in the days before Islam, for it had reached a hundred thousand ounces of silver, and the Prophet ﷺ said, "Be quiet, Ayesha, for I was to you like Abu Zaraa was to Umm Zaraa." Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ began to tell the story, and he related the hadith. Its chain of transmission is sahih. Darawardi also corroborated him in raising it, as found in Tabarani's Mujam al-Kabir (23/176).The hadith of Umm Zaraa received great attention from the scholars of hadith, both in commentary and annotation. The first to comment on this hadith was Abu Ubayd Qasim bin Salam (d. 222 AH) in Ghareeb al-Hadith, and from him Khattabi took his commentary in his commentary on Bukhari. Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on him, did not transmit his commentary from Abu Ubayd, even though Abu Ubayd's Ghareeb al-Hadith is one of the most important references Bukhari used for explaining unfamiliar words.Her saying, "ghath" (lean, scrawny), means emaciated. Her saying, "on top of a mountain," means difficult to reach, and its meaning is that there is little good in him from various angles. Khattabi said regarding her saying "on top of a mountain," it means he is elevated, arrogant, and holds himself far above his true station, meaning that along with his scarcity of good, he combines arrogance and bad character.Her saying, "I fear I cannot finish describing him," has two interpretations. One is that his account is long, and if I began to detail it I would not be able to finish it due to its length. The other is that I fear he will divorce me, so I will leave him, with "la" (no) being an extra word without independent meaning.Her saying, "ujarahu wa bujarahu" (his hidden faults and secret flaws), refers to his defects. Her saying, "al-ushanaq" (the excessively tall one), means the tall man, meaning that he has nothing to offer but height, without any benefit. Her saying, "like the night of Tihamah," means there is no harm in him, rather he is comfort and pleasure, like the mild night of Tihamah.Her saying, "if he enters, he is like a leopard," means he sleeps a great deal and does not ask about what he had left in the house of his wealth and belongings. Her saying, "if he goes out, he is like a lion," means he is brave among people and in battle.Her saying, "if he eats, he devours everything, and if he drinks, he drains everything," means he eats and drinks so much that nothing is left. Her saying, "and if he lies down, he wraps himself up," means when he sleeps he wraps himself in his garment off to one side and does not lie close to me so as to know how much affection I have for him.Her saying, "ayayaa," means he is impotent. Her saying, "tabaqaa," means he is a foolish simpleton. Her saying, "he may injure your head or break your limb," means there could be a wound to the head, or a broken limb.Her saying, "the scent of zarnab," zarnab being a well-known type of perfume, means he has a pleasant fragrance. Her saying, "to touch him is like touching a rabbit," means he is generous in character and gentle in manner, like a rabbit.Her saying, "high in rank," means he is noble and often mentioned. Her saying, "tall in stature," means tall of build. Her saying, "abundant in ashes," means he is generous and hosts many guests.Her saying, "his house is near the gathering place," means he is generous, and his house is close to the people's meeting place where guests come. Her saying, "many kneeling, few grazing," means he has many camels kneeling by his courtyard so that guests may be served their milk and meat.Her saying, "and when they hear the sound of the lute," the mizhar being the stringed instrument that is played, she meant that when guests came down upon her husband, he would slaughter camels for them.Her saying, "he has adorned my ears with jewelry," means he has decorated me with earrings that sway due to their abundance. Her saying, "he made me joyful, so I rejoiced," means he pleased me, so I was pleased.Her saying, "at Shiqq," is the name of a place. Her saying, "he placed me among a household of neighing horses," means that her own family were poor sheep owners, while her husband was a man of camels and horses.Her saying, "one who threshes and one who winnows," means he is a man of abundant crops. Her saying, "so I do not have anything unpleasant said to me, and I sleep and rise well into the morning," means her words are never rejected, and she sleeps even past dawn while the servants attend to her.Her saying, "her storage sacks are heavy," refers to the containers holding food, "radah" meaning large. Her saying, "his sleeping form is like a peeled reed stalk," means he is light of flesh. Her saying, "the leg of a young she-camel satisfies him," means he eats little.Her saying, "she does not scatter our provisions wastefully," the mirah being food, meaning she does not spoil the food. Her saying, "she does not fill our house with nesting rubbish," means she does not leave sweepings and rubbish in the house like a bird's nest.Her saying, "and the milk-skins are being churned," refers to the vessels of milk in which butter is churned. Her saying, "a noble man, and he rode a spirited steed," the sari meaning the noble master, and the shari being the horse that never tires.Her saying, "and he took up a khatti spear," the khatti being a spear named after Khatt, a village on the seashore. Her saying, "provide for your family," means "join them in kinship."The statement of the Prophet ﷺ to Ayesha, "I was to you like Abu Zaraa was to Umm Zaraa," means in loyalty and closeness, not in divorce and separation.Many benefits may be drawn from this hadith, the most important of which are.First, good companionship with one's family and the recommendation of conversing with them in ways that involve no sin.Second, it shows that when some of these women mentioned the faults of their husbands, this was not considered backbiting, since the husbands were not identified by name or person. Backbiting occurs only when specific individuals are intended, being mentioned in ways they would dislike and that would cause them harm.