A man said, "Messenger of Allah, I have relatives whom I maintain ties with while they sever ties with me, I treat them well while they treat me badly, and I am forbearing toward them while they behave foolishly toward me."He replied, "If you are truly as you describe, then it is as though you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will continue to have a supporter from Allah against them as long as you remain like that."
حدثنا محمد بن جعفر حدثنا شعبة قال سمعت العلاء بن عبد الرحمن يحدث عن أبيه
أن رجلا قال يا رسول الله إن لي قرابة أصلهم ويقطعون وأحسن إليهم ويسيئون إلي وأحلم عنهم ويجهلون علي قال لئن كنت كما تقول فكأنما تسفهم المل ولا يزال معك من الله ظهير عليهم ما دمت على ذلك
Its isnad is sahih. It is in Jami al-Masanid 7:260, from this same passage, and it will come again with two other isnads at 9322 and 10289. Muslim narrated it in 2:278, via Muhammad bin Jafar - Ahmad's teacher here - with this isnad. Munziri mentioned it in Targhib wal-Tarhib 3:227, attributing it to Muslim only.Mall - with fatha on the mim and shadda on the lam - means the hot ash that is heated so that bread may be buried in it to bake. So said Ibn Athir. He said, "He meant, You are only preparing for them a dry powder that they swallow, meaning that your gift to them is forbidden for them, and fire in their bellies!"This is what Ibn Athir said, but I see it as far removed from the context of the speech, and contrary to sound rulings. For what he gives them, out of his own contentment and the generosity of his character, is not something forbidden that they eat, rather it is lawful, without any doubt.Rather what is meant, and Allah knows best, is that by his generosity, forbearance, and kindness toward them, it is as though he fills their hearts with rage and rancor, because of how their evil conduct is met with good conduct from him. But that they eat what he gives them as something forbidden in their bellies, that is not so.Moreover, what Ibn Athir said would only apply specifically to maintaining ties in return for severing them, so what then of the two qualities that follow it, doing good in return for wrongdoing, and forbearance in return for ignorance!?