Kaab bin Malik reported,

Kaab bin Malik said, "I never stayed behind from any expedition the Messenger of Allah ﷺ undertook except the expedition of Tabuk, although I had also stayed back from the expedition of Badr. But no one was reproached for missing Badr, since the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had set out only intending to intercept the caravan of Quraysh, until Allah brought him and the enemy together unexpectedly. I was, however, present with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ on the night of al-Aqaba when we pledged ourselves to Islam, and I would not exchange that for being present at Badr, even though Badr is more renowned among the people.As for what happened with me, I had never been stronger or more well-off than at the time I stayed back from him on that expedition. By Allah, I had never before owned two riding-camels at once until I owned them on the eve of that expedition.The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never intended an expedition without disguising it under the cover of another, until that expedition came. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ undertook it in severe heat, facing a long journey, a desert waste, and a numerous enemy. So he disclosed to the Muslims their objective so they could prepare adequately, and he informed them of the destination he intended. The Muslims with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ were many, and no register kept their names."Kaab continued, "Hardly any man who wished to be absent imagined that his absence would remain hidden, so long as no revelation came down concerning him. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ undertook that expedition when the fruits had ripened and the shade was pleasant. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ and the Muslims with him made their preparations, and I would set out in the morning to prepare with them, then return having accomplished nothing, saying to myself, 'I am capable of doing it.' This kept on with me until the people grew earnest in their efforts, and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ set out one morning with the Muslims while I had not yet readied any of my equipment. I said, 'I will get ready a day or two after them and then catch up.' But after they had set out I went out the next morning to prepare and returned having done nothing. I went out again, and again returned having done nothing. This continued with me until they had hastened on and the expedition was beyond reach. I considered setting out and overtaking them, and I wish I had done so, but it was not destined for me.After the departure of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, whenever I went out among the people who remained, what saddened me was that I saw only a man suspected of hypocrisy or one of the weak whom Allah had excused.The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not mention me until he reached Tabuk. While he was sitting among the people in Tabuk he asked, 'What did Kaab do?'A man from Banu Salama said, 'Messenger of Allah, his two cloaks and admiring his own shoulders have detained him.'Muaz bin Jabal said, 'How wretched is what you have said. By Allah, Messenger of Allah, we know nothing of him but good.'The Messenger of Allah said nothing."Kaab bin Malik continued, "When word reached me that he had set out on his return, anxiety overcame me. I began to think up lies, saying, 'How shall I escape his anger tomorrow?' I sought help in this from every shrewd member of my family. But when it was said, 'The Messenger of Allah ﷺ is about to arrive,' all falsehood left me, and I knew I would never escape him by anything containing a lie. So I resolved to be truthful.The Messenger of Allah ﷺ arrived in the morning. Whenever he returned from a journey, he would begin with the mosque, pray two rakahs there, and then sit for the people. When he did so, those who had stayed behind came and began offering excuses to him and swearing oaths. They were over eighty men. The Messenger of Allah accepted their outward statements, took their pledge, asked forgiveness for them, and left their inner motives to Allah.Then I came to him, and when I greeted him he smiled the smile of one who is angry, then said, 'Come forward.'I walked until I sat before him.He asked me, 'What kept you back? Had you not bought your mount?'I replied, 'Yes. By Allah, if I were sitting before anyone else of worldly people, I would think I could escape his anger with an excuse, for I have been given a gift of argument. But by Allah, I know full well that if I tell you today a lying account that pleases you about me, Allah will soon make you angry with me. And if I tell you a truthful account about which you may be displeased with me, I hope for the pardon of Allah in it. No, by Allah, I had no excuse. By Allah, I was never stronger or more well-off than when I stayed behind from you.'The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, 'As for this man, he has spoken the truth. Stand up until Allah decides concerning you.'So I stood up, and some men of Banu Salama rushed after me and said, 'By Allah, we have not known you to commit any sin before this. You were unable to offer the Messenger of Allah ﷺ the excuse those who stayed behind offered him. The Messenger of Allah's ﷺ asking forgiveness for you would have been enough to absolve your sin.'By Allah, they did not stop blaming me until I wanted to go back and call myself a liar.Then I asked them, 'Has anyone else met what I have met?'They said, 'Yes, two men said the same as you, and they were told the same as you were told.'I asked, 'Who are they?'They said, 'Murara bin Rabi al-Amri and Hilal bin Umaya al-Waqifi.'They mentioned to me two righteous men who had been at Badr, in whom there was an example for me. So I went on my way after they had named them to me.The Messenger of Allah ﷺ forbade the Muslims from speaking to us three out of all those who had stayed behind. The people avoided us and changed toward us, until the earth itself seemed strange to me, as if it were not the one I knew.We remained like this for fifty nights. As for my two companions, they submitted and stayed in their houses weeping. As for me, I was the youngest of them and the most resilient. I would go out, attend the prayer with the Muslims, and walk through the markets, but no one would speak to me. I would come to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and greet him while he sat after the prayer, and I would say to myself, 'Did he move his lips returning my greeting or not?' Then I would pray near him and steal glances at him. When I turned to my prayer he would look at me, and when I turned toward him he would turn away from me.When the harshness of the people had gone on long, I walked until I climbed over the wall of Abu Qatada's garden. He was my cousin and the dearest of people to me. I greeted him, and by Allah he did not return my greeting.I said, 'Abu Qatada, I implore you by Allah, do you know that I love Allah and His Messenger?'He was silent. I asked again and implored him, but he was silent. I asked yet again and implored him.He said, 'Allah and His Messenger know best.'My eyes overflowed with tears, and I turned away and climbed back over the wall.While I was walking through the market of Madinah, suddenly a Nabatean from among the Nabateans of Sham who had come to sell food in Madinah was asking, 'Who can show me Kaab bin Malik?' The people began pointing me out to him, until he came and handed me a letter from the king of Ghassan, in which was written, 'To proceed: I have heard that your companion has treated you harshly. Allah has not made you to be in a place of humiliation or neglect. So join us, and we will console you.'When I read it I said, 'This too is part of the trial.' I took it to the oven and burned it in the fire.When forty of the fifty nights had passed, a messenger of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ came to me and said, 'The Messenger of Allah ﷺ commands you to keep apart from your wife.'I asked, 'Shall I divorce her, or what shall I do?'He said, 'No, just keep away from her and do not approach her.'He sent the like to my two companions. So I said to my wife, 'Go to your family and stay with them until Allah decides this matter.'"Kaab said, "The wife of Hilal bin Umaya came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said, 'Messenger of Allah, Hilal bin Umaya is a helpless old man with no servant. Would you object if I serve him?'He said, 'No, but he must not approach you.'She said, 'By Allah, he has no inclination toward anything. By Allah, he has not stopped weeping from when his affair began until this day of his.'Some of my family said to me, 'If only you would seek permission from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ regarding your wife, as he permitted the wife of Hilal bin Umaya to serve him.'I said, 'By Allah, I will not seek permission from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about her. How do I know what the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would say if I sought permission about her, and I am a young man?'I remained like this for ten more nights, until fifty nights were complete from the time the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had forbidden speaking to us. After I had prayed the dawn prayer on the morning of the fiftieth night, while I was on the roof of one of our houses, sitting in the very state Allah described, my soul straitened upon me and the earth was straitened upon me despite its vastness, I heard the voice of a caller who had climbed Mount Sala calling at the top of his voice, 'Kaab bin Malik, rejoice!'I fell down in prostration, and I knew that relief had come. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ had announced to the people Allah's acceptance of our repentance after he had prayed the dawn prayer. The people set off to give us the good news. Bearers of glad tidings went to my two companions, and a man galloped a horse toward me, and a runner from Aslam ran and reached the top of the mountain. The voice was swifter than the horse.When the one whose voice I had heard came to me bringing the good news, I took off my two garments and clothed him in them in gratitude for his glad tidings. By Allah, I owned no other garments that day, so I borrowed two garments and put them on. I set out for the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and the people met me in groups congratulating me on the repentance, saying, 'Congratulations on Allah's acceptance of your repentance.'"Kaab said, "Until I entered the mosque, and there was the Messenger of Allah ﷺ sitting with the people around him. Talha bin Ubaydullah rose toward me, hurrying until he shook my hand and congratulated me. By Allah, no man from the Muhajirun rose toward me other than him, and I shall never forget that of Talha."Kaab said, "When I greeted the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, his face shining with joy, 'Rejoice in the best day that has passed over you since your mother bore you.'I said, 'Is this from you, Messenger of Allah, or is it from Allah?'He said, 'No, it is from Allah.'When the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was pleased, his face would shine until it was as though it were a piece of the moon, and we used to recognize that in him.When I sat before him, I said, 'Messenger of Allah, part of my repentance is that I divest myself of my wealth as charity to Allah and His Messenger.'The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, 'Keep some of your wealth for yourself, that is better for you.'I said, 'Then I will keep my share that is at Khaybar.' Then I said, 'Messenger of Allah, Allah has saved me only through truthfulness, and part of my repentance is that I shall not speak anything but the truth as long as I live.'By Allah, I do not know of any Muslim whom Allah has tested in truthful speech, since I mentioned that to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, better than He has tested me. I have not deliberately told a lie since I said that to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ until this day of mine, and I hope Allah will preserve me for what remains of my life.Allah revealed to His Messenger ﷺ, "Allah has accepted the repentance of the Prophet and the Muhajirun..." up to His words "...and be with the truthful" [Tawba 9:117–119].By Allah, Allah has never bestowed upon me any blessing, after guiding me to Islam, greater in my soul than my truthfulness to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, that I did not lie to him so I would perish as those who lied perished. For Allah said about those who lied, when revelation came down, the worst thing He said to anyone, "They will swear by Allah to you when you return..." up to His words "...for Allah is not pleased with the rebellious people" [Tawba 9:95–96]."Kaab said, "We three were held back from the affair of those whose oaths the Messenger of Allah ﷺ accepted when they swore to him, so he took their pledge and asked forgiveness for them. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ deferred our case until Allah decided concerning it. So Allah said, 'And to the three who were left behind' [Tawba 9:118]. What Allah mentioned of our being left behind is not our staying away from the expedition, it is rather his deferring of our affair and postponing it from those who had sworn to him and offered excuses, which he had accepted from them."

عن كعب بن مالك قال

لم أتخلف عن رسول الله ﷺ في غزوة غزاها إلا في غزوة تبوك، غير أني كنت تخلفت في غزوة بدر، ولم يعاتب أحدا تخلف عنها، إنما خرج رسول الله ﷺ يريد عير قريش، حتى جمع الله بينهم وبين عدوهم على غير ميعاد. ولقد شهدت مع رسول الله ﷺ ليلة العقبة حين تواثقنا على الإسلام، وما أحب أن لي بها مشهد بدر، وإن كانت بدر أذكر في الناس منها، كان من خبري أني لم أكن قط أقوي ولا أيسر حين تخلفت عنه في تلك الغزوة، والله ما اجتمعت عندي قبله راحلتان قط حتى جمعتهما في تلك الغزوة، ولم يكن رسول الله ﷺ يريد غزوة إلا وري بغيرها، حتى كانت تلك الغزوة، غزاها رسول الله ﷺ في حر شديد، واستقبل سفرا بعيدا ومفازا وعدوا كثيرا، فجلي للمسلمين أمرهم ليتأهبوا أهبة غزوهم، فأخبرهم بوجهه الذي يريد، والمسلمون مع رسول الله ﷺ كثير، ولا يجمعهم كتاب حافظ- يريد الديوان. قال كعب: فما رجل يريد أن يتغيب إلا ظن أن سيخفي له، ما لم ينزل فيه وحي الله، وغزا رسول الله ﷺ تلك الغزوة حين طابت الثمار والظلال، وتجهز رسول الله ﷺ والمسلمون معه، فطفقت أغدو لكي أتجهز معهم، فأرجع ولم أقض شيئا، فأقول في نفسي أنا قادر عليه. فلم يزل يتمادي بي حتى اشتد بالناس الجد، فأصبح رسول الله ﷺ والمسلمون معه ولم أقض من جهازي شيئا، فقلت: أنجهر بعده بيوم أو يومين ثم الحقهم، فغدوت بعد أن فصلوا لا تجهز، فرجعت ولم أقض شيئا، ثم غدوت ثم رجعت ولم أقض شيئا، فلم يزل بي حتى أسرعوا وتفارط الغزر، وهممت أن أرتحل فأدركهم، وليتني فعلت، فلم يقدر لي ذلك، فكنت إذا خرجت في الناس بعد خروج رسول الله ﷺ فعلت فيهم، أحزنني أني لا أرى إلا رجلا مغموصا عليه النفاق، أو رجلا ممن عذر الله من الضعفاء، ولم يذكرني رسول الله ﷺ حتى بلغ تبوك، فقال وهو جالس في القوم بتبوك: ما فعل كعب؟ فقال رجل من بني سلمة: يا رسول الله، حبسه برداه ونظره في عطفه. فقال معاذ بن جبل: بئس ما قلت، والله يا رسول الله، ما علمنا عليه إلا خيرا فسكت رسول الله. قال كعب بن مالك: فلما بلغني أنه توجه قافلا حضرني همي، وطفقت أتذكر الكذب وأقول: بماذا أخرج من سخطه غدا واستعنت على ذلك بكل ذي رأى من أهلي، فلما قيل: إن رسول الله ﷺ قد أظل قادما زاح عني الباطل، وعرفت أني لن أخرج منه أبدا بشيء فيه كذب، فأجمعت صدقه وأصبح رسول الله ﷺ قادما، وكان إذا قدم من سفر بدأ بالمسجد فيركع فيه ركعتين ثم جلس للناس، فلما فعل ذلك جاءه المخلفون، فطفقوا يعتذرون إليه، ويحلفون له، وكانوا بضعة وثمانين رجلا فقبل منهم رسول الله علانيتهم، وبايعهم واستغفر لهم، ووكل سرائرهم إلى الله، فجئته فلما سلمت عليه تبسم تبسم المغضب، ثم قال: تعال فجئت أمشي حتى جلست بين يديه، فقال لي: ما خلفك؟ ألم تكن قد ابتعت ظهرك فقلت: بلى إني والله لو جلست عند غيرك من أهل الدنيا، لرأيت أن سأخرج من سخطه بعذر، ولقد أعطيت جدلا، ولكني والله لقد علمت لئن حدثتك اليوم حديث كذب ترضي به عني ليوشكن الله أن يسخطك علي، ولئن حدثتك حديث صدق تجد على فيه إني لأرجو فيه عفو الله، لا والله ما كان لي من عذر، والله ما كنت قط أقوي ولا أيسر مني حين تخلفت عنك. فقال رسول الله ﷺ: أما هذا فقد صدق، فقم حتى يقضي الله فيك فقمت، وثار رجال من بني سلمة فاتبعوني، فقالوا لي: والله ما علمناك كنت أذنبت ذنبا قبل هذا، ولقد عجزت أن لا تكون اعتذرت إلى رسول الله ﷺ بما اعتذر إليه المتخلفون، قد كان كافيك ذنبك استغفار رسول الله ﷺ لك، فوالله ما قالوا يؤذبوني حتى أردت أن أرجع فأكذب نفسي، ثم قلت لهم: هل لقى هذا معي أحد؟ قالوا: نعم، رجلان قالا مثل ما قلت، فقيل لهما مثل ما قيل لك. فقلت: من هما؟ قالوا: مرارة بن الربيع العمري وهلال بن أمية الواقفي. فذكروا لي رجلين صالحين قد شهدا بدرا فيهما إسوة، فمضيت حين ذكرو هما لي، ونهى رسول الله ﷺ المسلمين عن كلامنا أيها الثلاثة من بين من تخلف عنه، فاجتنبنا الناس وتغيروا لنا، حتى تنكرت في نفسي الأرض، فما هي التي أعرف، فلبثنا على ذلك خمسين ليلة، فأما صاحباي فاستكانا وقعدا في بيوتهما يبكيان، وأما أنا فكنت أشب القوم وأجلدهم، فكنت أخرج فأشهد الصلاة مع المسلمين، وأطوف في الأسواق، ولا يكلمني أحد، وآتي رسول الله ﷺ فأسلم عليه وهو في مجلسه بعد الصلاة، فأقول في نفسي: هل حرك شفتيه بره السلام علي أم لا ثم أصلي قريبا منه، فأسارقه النظر، فإذا أقبلت على صلاتي أقبل إلي، وإذا التفت نحوه أعرض عني، حتى إذا طال على ذلك من جفوة الناس مشيت حتى تسورت جدار حائط أبي قتادة وهو ابن عمي وأحب الناس إلي، فسلمت عليه، فوالله ما رد على السلام، فقلت: يا أبا قتادة، أنشدك بالله هل تعلمني أحب الله ورسوله فسكت، فعدت له فنشدته فسكت فعدت له فنشدته. فقال: الله ورسوله أعلم. ففاضت عيناي وتوليت حتى تسورت الجدار، قال: فبينا أنا أمني بسوق المدينة إذا نبطي من ألباط أهل الشام ممن قدم بالطعام يبيعه بالمدينة يقول: من يدل على كعب بن مالك؟ فطفق الناس يشيرون له، حتى إذا جاء ني دفع إلى كتابا من ملك غسان، فإذا فيه: أما بعد فإنه قد بلغني أن صاحبك قد جفاك، ولم يجعلك الله بدار هوان ولا مضيعة، فالحق بنا نواسك. فقلت لما قرأتها: وهذا أيضا من البلاء فتيممت بها التنور فسجرته بها، حتى إذا مضت أربعون ليلة من الخمسين، إذا رسول رسول الله ﷺ يأتيني فقال: إن رسول الله ﷺ يأمرك أن تعتزل امرأتك، فقلت: أطلقها أم ماذا أفعل؟ قال: لا بل اعتز لها ولا تقربها. وأرسل إلى صاحبي مثل ذلك، فقلت لامرأتي: الحقي بأهلك فتكوني عندهم حتى يقضي الله في هذا الأمر. قال كعب: فجاءت امرأة هلال بن أمية رسول الله ﷺ، فقالت: يا رسول الله، إن هلال بن أمية شيخ ضائع ليس له خادم فهل تكره أن أخدمه؟ قال: لا ولكن لا يقربك قالت: إنه والله ما به حركة إلى شيء، والله ما زال يبكي منذ كان من أمره ما كان إلى يومه هذا فقال لي بعض أهلي لو استأذنت رسول الله ﷺ في امرأتك كما أذن لامرأة هلال بن أمية أن تخدمه، فقلت: والله لا أستأذن فيها رسول الله ﷺ، وما يدريني ما يقول رسول الله ﷺ إذا استأذنته فيها وأنا رجل شاب. فلبثت بعد ذلك عشر ليال حتى كملت لنا حمسون ليلة من حين نهى رسول الله ﷺ عن كلامنا، فلما صليت صلاة الفجر صبح خمسين ليلة، وأنا على ظهر بيت من بيوتنا، فبينا أنا جالس على الحال التي ذكر الله، قد ضاقت على نفسي، وضاقت على الأرض بما رحبت، سمعت صوت صارح أوفى على جبل سلع بأعلى صوته: يا كعب بن مالك أبشر. قال: فخررت ساجدا، وعرفت أن قد جاء فرج، وآذن رسول الله ﷺ بتوبة الله علينا حين صلى صلاة الفجر، فذهب الناس يبشروننا، وذهب قبل صاحبي مبشرون، وركض إلى رجل فرسا، وسعى ساع من أسلم فأوفى على الجبل وكان الصوت أسرع من الفرس، فلما جاءني الذي سمعت صوته يبشرني نزعت له ثوبي، فكسوته إياهما ببشراه، والله ما أملك غيرهما يومئذ، واستعرت توبين فلبستهما، وانطلقت إلى رسول الله ﷺ فيتلقاني الناس فوجا فوجا يهتوني بالتوبة، يقولون: لتهنك توبة الله عليك. قال كعب: حتى دخلت المسجد، فإذا رسول الله ﷺ جالس حوله الناس، فقام إلى طلحة بن عبيد الله يهرول حتى صافحني وهنا ني، والله ما قام إلى رجل من المهاجرين غيره، ولا أنساها لطلحة، قال كعب: فلما سلمت على رسول الله ﷺ قال رسول الله ﷺ وهو يبرق وجهه من السرور: أبشر يوم مر عليك منذ ولدتك أمك، قال: قلت: أمن عندك يا رسول الله أم من عند الله؟ قال: لا، بل من عند الله. وكان رسول الله ﷺ إذا سر استنار وجهه حتى كأنه قطعة قمر، وكنا نعرف ذلك منه، فلما جلست بين يديه قلت: يا رسول الله، إن من توبتي أن أنخلع من مالي صدقة إلى الله وإلى رسوله. قال رسول الله ﷺ: أمسك عليك بعض مالك فهو خير لك قلت: فإني أمسك سهمي الذي بخيبر، فقلت: يا رسول الله، إن الله إنما نجاني بالصدق، وإن من توبني أن لا أحدت إلا صدقا ما بقيت فوالله ما أعلم أحدا من المسلمين أبلاه الله في صدق الحديث منذ ذكرت ذلك لرسول الله ﷺ أحسن مما أبلاني، ما تعمدت منذ ذكرت ذلك لرسول الله ﷺ إلى يومي هذا كذبا، وإني لأرجو أن يحفظني الله فيما بقيت، وأنزل الله على رسوله ﷺ لقد {تاب الله على النبي والمهجرين} إلى قوله {وكونوا مع الصدقين} [ التوبة: ١١٩] فوالله ما أنعم الله على من نعمة قط بعد أن هداني للإسلام أعظم في نفسي من صدقي لرسول الله ﷺ أن لا أكون كذبته، فأهلك كما هلك الذين كذبوا، فإن الله قال للذين كذبوا حين أنزل الوحي شر ما قال لأحد، فقال تبارك وتعالى {سيحلفون بالله لكم إذا أنقلبتم} إلى قوله {فإن الله لا يرضي عن القوم الفسقين} [التوبة: ٩٥-٩٦] قال كعب: وكنا تخلفنا أي الثلاثة عن أمر أولئك الذين قبل منهم رسول الله ﷺ حين حلفوا له، فبايعهم واستغفر لهم وأرجأ رسول الله ﷺ أمرنا حتى قضى الله فيه، فبذلك قال الله: {وعلي الثلثة الذين خلفوا} وليس الذي ذكر الله مما خلفنا عن الغزو، إنما هو تخليفه إيانا وإرجاؤه أمرنا عمن حلف له واعتذر إليه، فقبل منه.