We used to consider gathering at the family of the deceased and the preparation of food after the burial to be a form of wailing.
حدثنا نصر بن باب عن إسماعيل عن قيس
كنا نعد الاجتماع إلى أهل الميت وصنيعة الطعام بعد دفنه من النياحة
Its chain of transmission is sahih. Ismail is Ibn Abu Khalid, as is clarified in the narration of Ibn Majah. Qays is Ibn Abu Hazim. Ibn Majah related this hadith (1:252) from Muhammad bin Yahya from Saeed bin Mansur, and also from Shujaa bin Mukhlid, both of them from Hushaym from Ismail bin Abu Khalid, with this same chain. Busiri said in his Zawaid, "Its chain of transmission is sahih, the men of the first path meet the standard of Bukhari, and the second meets the standard of Muslim." And it is as he said.Majd bin Taymiyyah mentioned it in al-Muntaqa (1933) and attributed it to Ahmad alone, and his commentator Shawkani (4:148) added its attribution to Ibn Majah with a sahih chain of transmission. This hadith belongs to the musnad of Jareer bin Abdullah Bajali, as is evident, and has no connection to the musnad of Ibn Amr bin As. Despite this, it is not mentioned again in the musnad of Jareer, which comes in (part) pages 357-366 of the Halabi edition.What is meant here by preparing food is what the family of the deceased prepare to host those who come to offer condolences, so they claim! For the sunnah is that people should prepare food for the family of the deceased, not that the family should prepare food for the people. This is based on his saying, when news came of the death of Jafar bin Abu Talib, "Prepare food for the family of Jafar, for a matter has come upon them that will occupy them." This has already been mentioned in the hadith of Abdullah bin Jafar (1751).For this reason Majd bin Taymiyyah set the title of the chapter covering both hadiths as, "Chapter on preparing food for the family of the deceased, and the disapproval of them preparing it for the people." Sindi said in his commentary on Ibn Majah, "In sum, this is the opposite of what has been transmitted, that people should prepare food for the family of the deceased. So people gathering in their house, to the point that they burden themselves with preparing food for their sake, is a reversal of that!" Many jurists have mentioned that hosting guests on behalf of the family of the deceased is a reversal of what is reasonable, since hospitality should truly be for joy, not for grief. And this is excellent and valuable.